May 18^th, 2000

Dear Zoe,

Guess what happened? It’s something so weird that it’s almost un-believable and I think that it is all your fault!

I woke up this morning and my whole house looked like something out of a Dr.Seuss book. Everything was really colourful, mostly reds and yellows. The furniture didn’t look right, it had some kind of weird aura to it, almost as if it was just there for decoration instead of to live in! And you know what the weirdest thing was? I went downstairs to the kitchen for breakfast but our kitchen wasn’t our kitchen anymore! There wasn’t a fridge, or a stove, no cupboards either, just re-heated food that was sitting under a lamp to keep warm!

I was so confused that I had to get outside for some fresh air, but when I got outside I thought I would faint for sure. Everyone was overweight and I don’t mean just a little. There were huge posters of Ronald McDonald everywhere, even billboards with his face on them! Everywhere I looked, I saw the golden arches. Those huge yellow M’s were left, right, up and down! And there were those colorful play tube parks and slides all over the place! There were clowns, chicken mcnuggets with faces, and hamburgers painted all over the buildings and walls. It looked like the whole city was a giant circus or amusement park.

I went to the city hall (which now has huge plastic trees with funny faces all around it) to find out exactly what was going on. Everyone inside the building looked at me as if I was from a different planet because I didn’t know that Ronald McDonald had taken over all of North America. Zoe, McDonald’s runs the world! The only food we can eat has to be ordered off of a McDonalds menu. The only job anyone can have is to work behind a McDonalds counter and receive orders. The only form of transportation is on an old fashioned looking bus with so many bright colors on it that it gives you a headache. And you want to know what the worst thing is? There are only public washrooms! You have to get me out of here Zoe!!!

Here’s a poem that I wrote. It’s not as good as the great poems that you write but I gave it my best shot! I want you to read it though because I know how obsessed with poems you are.

I started thinking, because that’s the only normal thing left to do around here. I remembered that the first McDonald’s opened in the 1950’s, and you’re in the 1950’s. If history is changed, some pretty weird things can happen, so I don’t know what you did or how you did it but you better get out of the 1950’s as soon as possible before you do anything else!

Your friend,